junxtaposition

i can pretend to turn this cheek or that one
or even raise my nose up
with a sense of self worth and loathing
i fall harder to the ground
each tear impacting my chest
causing a sort of imploding pain
to my exploding angst and aggravation
as i learn the hardest of lesson of love and life
each like
in the case of alanis a pill of jagged proportions
but more so the p!nk version of a pill that doesn't make it better at all just worse
sitting in my room with this juxtaposition of image and feeling
false and real serious and laid back
causing a swirl in the pool on my memory of this salty saline solution
that makes my problems unresolved
im the living emotion river
lacking the hottopic price tag
and immature tagging
broken form of a previous handlers mistreatment
i don't know if this symphonies key change goes to cute major or minor ending
all i know is that this barrage of spears of action films past
are blowing through my chest
and its making it pretty damn hard to play my part
my fingers tremble now as i write speak type and tickle these
unrelenting feelings
the worst of all phobias knocking a my door burlap sack in one hand and spade in the other
just ready to smother me in my most helpless of situations
the door to door salesman that has
""Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" tattooed against his sack
the one i lick and stimulate
the one im of a course a little bitch for
my fate caused by my own hand or finger
not dialing the right corresponding tiles of numbers and letters
and lets face it its hard if you have seen a phone for the first time and don't know why so many symbols are on one key
not blaming someone because its not proper and not what going on or whatever
wondering maybe straight ahead is the way to be
and not a fag all the time
a fantastically amorous guy
for those of you who don't know me and may get
scared
offended
prejudice
phobic
neurotic
jealous
incomplete
questioning
curious
certain
stubborn
and not just the breeder but the cock feeders too

so what is to become of me
as i venture down to the salty depths of my eyes
to the black paint
tainted pill and alcohol concoction
the release and relaxed poop shoot of emotion
well i think ill be fine
i will run scream cry cream
my pants the tortilla
till its nice and sweet
and i heard possibly doing what many fear and never do